This paper reviews the literature to provide an overview of what is currently known about the situations and experiences of mothers and fathers who become the non-resident parent post-separation/divorce. It also documents the results of a new qualitative study of similarities and differences between divorced non-custodial mothers and fathers in Canada in their experience of parenthood after divorce; focusing on (a) patterns of attachment, loss and grief related to involuntary child absence, (b)

more »

... mothers' and fathers' perspectives on their children's needs in the divorce transition, and their responsibilities in relation to those needs, and (c) mothers' and fathers' perspectives on the responsibilities of social institutions to support divorced parents. I explore mothers' and fathers' views of the salient issues regarding post-divorce parenting, with a focus on the process and outcome of child custody determination. The principal question explored is, "Are the experiences of nonresident parents gender-based, or is their status as non-resident parents a more salient factor in their subsequent relationship with their children?" Findings indicate that there are many similarities in women and men's experiences regarding the difficulties they each encounter when parenting at a distance. A key finding is that both parents experience the harmful effects of existing child custody law and policy, and speak strongly to the need for child custody law reform in the direction of a joint physical custody presumption. I examine mothers' and fathers' own views regarding child custody determination and needed changes in direct service provision to non-custodial parents. As a long-time researcher of divorced non-custodial fathers, I was approached by a small mutual aid group of divorced mothers in Victoria, British Columbia, to undertake a study of mothers without custody, a largely invisible but growing group often assumed to have either voluntarily relinquished care and control of their children or being incapable of providing their children with the care they need. After interviewing the 14 mothers who volunteered for the study, I found the opposite to be true; non-custodial mothers are no different from other mothers, but through the play of circumstances over which they have relatively little control, find themselves on the periphery of their children's lives subsequent to a legal determination of paternal custody. Their situation parallels that of the non-custodial fathers I had studied for many years, but with some subtle and important differences. This paper documents both the similarities and differences between non-custodial mothers and fathers in Canada, focusing on patterns of attachment, loss and grief related to involuntary child absence; mothers' and fathers' perspectives on their children's needs in the divorce transition, and their own responsibilities in relation to those needs; and mothers' and fathers' perspectives on the responsibilities of social institutions to support parents during and after divorce. We will