Jean Broadhurst
1918 School Science and Mathematics  
Ye' see, Michael, me b'y, since me fayther settled so manny questions av internashunal dispute, it cum to me natshral loike to be inthrusted in the prisint day and its problims. And me posishun av windy washin' at collige is furtherin' me in the way av it, for windy washin' is a quiet job and slow, as is well known. So I hear manny a thing that me puir fayther missed altogither. And the quarest av thim all is the way thim big perfessors is a tryin' to git shut av their jobs, entoirely. Do ye
more » ... r hear me, Michael, a sayin' that the windys don't need washin' or cud wash thimsilves? Be gorrah, a man 'ud be two fules in wan, he wud, to do that for he'd sure lose his job altogither and the windys wudn't be washed at all, at all. But this discussin method is a quare one. As I kin make it out, it's a way the perfessors have av lettin' the scholars run on by thimsilves loike a horse widout anny driver at all. No, it's not loike Murphy it is, fur his old white horse stops at ivry house and waits till Murphy gives the baby his bit av pasteurized milk for the day, and comes out wid the empties. That's not loike the discussin way at all, for old Murphy knows where his horse is ivry minute and where he's goin', and what's more, the old horse fetches up at the right places ivry time. But in the discussin way, a horse ud av to av the wings av a bird and legs av a kangrue, for he'd av to jump from one street to anuther and skip whole blocks intoirely; and to kape up wid him Murphy wud av need av an aeroplane wid all the accelirators and patent brakes tha<t av yit to be invinted. Besides, Murphy's horse niver goes backward, me b'y. He's a wise old horse, and he'd know it av he did. Now, as I kin make it out, in the discussin way the perfessor starts 'em on a little way wid his highbrow stuff, and thin he drops the lines intoirely. And ivry horse pulls a different way, zigzaggin' around as if the royal road to learnin' was the Abbey Inn hill for the steepness av it. And thin, whin thim as don't discuss, the passingers, so to speak, have been yanked this way and that till they don't know which way they're goin', sumthin' breaks, and the hull thing stops, wid each av thim discussers in a diffrunt place; and the passingers begin wanderin' about aimless-like, some av thim
doi:10.1111/j.1949-8594.1918.tb03920.x fatcat:bcqiolmalrdrzpijzuc2yzsx3i