Why Am I Alone? [A Short Communication]

2014 Advances in Language and Literary Studies  
In deep thought, scandalous feelings found its true meaning that let to disappointment. Keith was my boy. My eyes would focus on his charming personality that would lead to what I deserved. Keith was an alcoholic. He would drink under stress. I worried about his problem. He never considered drinking as a problem. Instead, drinking was an alibi to cover his emotions away from confronting his feelings about women. Keith was diagnosed as a manic depressive and he refused to seek treatment. His
more » ... treatment. His mother always felt that family came first and if her son was out of line, he would turn to ma for comfort. Keith was a Mama's boy. She would not let anything come between their relationships. This made Keith sensitive of what others thought about him. Keith was very paranoid and was concerned whether people liked him. His image was important to him. He wanted to be liked. Keith's father was abusive and neglected his son. Keith told me stories about how his father beat him repeatedly for no reason. He felt he could never live up to his father's expectations. This made Keith suicidal. Janet fell in love with Keith for his moral support. Janet felt when Keith was around, he became her security blanket. Her world began to diminish as long as he was there for her. He supported her dreams of being a nurse. He wanted her to complete college. Keith was a college dropout; but he believed in Janet. There love began to blossom as he would stole in the park with her, stranded at her window, recited excerpts of poems to her which was impressive. Keith was a mechanic with the dream of owning his own shop. Janet worked hard in school. Keith worked hard in building their relationship. But would this be enough? Keith was the answer to her problems with men. Although he was obese, he cared about his appearance. He did the right things. He ate right. He exercised. He was vulnerable to Janet. Their relationship was a fairy tale, where she found prince charming. Their relationship was so close, they could not get enough of each other's friendship. That's it. Their relationship was based on their friendship. In their relationship, they promised to be celibate. She thought nothing more than being friends. She did not want to jeopardize how she felt. It would break their friendship apart. Time passed and she was ready to graduate from college. Just when she thought she met the perfect man he began to become over protective of her. He had an insecurity knowing he was not the right economic status for her and they would never marry. Keith began to ask questions: Where did you go? When will you come back? Who will you be with? This carried on for months, until he held his hand up at her. Janet knew she would never allow a man to hit her, so she voted out of this climate for a better life. Chapter Two: Maintenance Man Jade lived a good life. She had a good job, an overpriced townhouse, and was financially established. After her grandmother died, she left Jade a trust. Jade's mother held a secret life as a stripper and a cocaine addict. Her mother was faced with the reality that she could not be the mother for Jade, while her boyfriend lived the life as a junkie. Jade was given up for adoption when her grandmother decided to raise Jade. Kiel was amazingly sharp with a remarkable sex appeal. Jade always was found of his acquaintance. Jade's mom knew their bond would hit it off. Kiel appeared to be more sensitive than most men. He loved to share his feelings with her. They would talk for hours at a time about nothing in particular. Kiel became her best friend. She felt she trusted Kiel with her inner deep thoughts and secrets. Kiel was a social butterfly. Kiel was a delightful personality whose influence could charm a crowed, met every women's secret desire. Jade was taken by his looks most of all. Kiel could tell Jade the latest fashions. He knew how to put a wardrobe together with style. He kept her coordinated. He knew how she should wear her hair. He knew all women's trends. He could look at a woman's jewelry and tell her what to wear. Kiel knew the right things to tell Jade to build her self-esteem. Jade needed this in a man. A man that made her feel good about herself that she kept in good company. Kiel was a male model-T. He was a maintence man on the side. Jade like a man who could come around to fix things up. He was found to look at as well. He was a man on the move. Jade was surprise he had no interest in other women. Jade knew her roots. Kiel was different. She always wondered why he paid so much attention to her. Kiel was dependable to her when she cried. She found herself spending all her time who cared more for his appearance than her wellbeing. Jade noticed this about Kiel. He limited his time with her to spending time with the guys. At the start of their friendship she noticed he had an eye for men. He thought he wanted to feel pretty to impress other men. Kiel would look up and down women to find his attraction for gay men.
doi:10.7575/aiac.alls.v.5n.4p.22 fatcat:rcv7xevvtra35dv3d2mncrktky